Okay, so the reason for this post is because I literally cannot stop thinking. I am lying in bed, trying to sleep because I need to be up at 6am, and my mind will not shut off. The wheels have no brake and the hamster won't get off for some water. It is driving me nuts. What is driving me nuts you might ask? Good question! The answer is: Relationships.
I mean if I am being honest with myself, I probably will not get a boyfriend before I leave college. And if that is the case, then what does dating outside of school even mean? I have lived my whole life believing that a relationship means that you go to school, are attached at the hip for the next eight hours, go home, and then are attached by your phones for the next six until you fake argue about who is going to hang up first. THAT IS NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS ARE SUPPOSE TO WORK!! And they definitely aren't going to work that way in "adult land".
I have talked to many of my friends who are in relationships, and a few of them are a little too dependent on each other some times. To be fair, the way they are dependent probably has to do with their age and where they are in life. But I never have, and refuse to ever, feel the need to ask a significant other, or other person in general for permission to do something that only directly affects me. Other than my parents when I was like 15. But here I hear one say to another, "Is it alright if I go grab coffee with a friend?" or "If you are okay with it, I am going to go get my haircut tomorrow." Seriously. SERIOUSLY?! They are your significant other, not your mommy. If we don't have plans and I want to meet up with a friend, I am going to do it. Case closed. Maybe I feel like this because my parents taught me that although you are in a relationship, you are still your own independent person. My mom always asked my dad what he thought of her dying her hair before she did it, and he always replied, "It is your hair. Do with it what you like." But really, being in a relationship in the adult world means being independent and dependent at the same time. The only things I feel I would need to check with another person for would be things that directly impact them, things that require a commitment from both of us. <End Rant>
Another thing, how do you meet someone in the real world. I was thinking about it and, seriously, where am I suppose to meet someone? My life isn't a four minute music video where are great looking guy in a fedora is going to buy me a heart shaped pastry in a coffee shop. The only places I am going to frequent in a normal week are my place of employment (an elementary school), the gym, and church. Hmmm... so my choices are single dads, body builders, and bible study leaders. Awesome. I am sure they are all great people, but then the next thing comes in. I am not, or should not really, be in a dating mindset in any of those scenarios. When I am at work, I am focused on my students. At the gym, I am focused on myself. And at church, I am focused on God. So where do I meet someone with the idea of a second date in mind? Internet. HA. I laugh now, but I am sure I will resort to it at some point. You know why? 1) My life is not a romantic comedy and 2) I'm a realist and don't want to be alone the rest of my life.
Finally, when I eventually meet this superhero with a 401K and a chiseled chin, what does the actual dating thing look like? I mean in college, it is a movie from Redbox and a pizza to share from Little Caesars. Add in a futon and you are golden. But seriously, you both have jobs and lives. And how do you then define the relationship? Boyfriend/girlfriend or just "dating"? And to be fair and honest, it is even more difficult as a Christian. In the secular world, most couples cohabitate. Which almost always leads to a sexually active relationship as well. Both a no-no in most (really all) Christian circles. So while in a secular relationship, you might see each other every night, that may not be practical when living a life of abstinence. It probably isn't practical at all. Probably once or twice a week is more realistic.
Dating after school kind of sounds like the pits. And to be honest, I am really glad I am single at the present moment. That might change tomorrow, but probably not. For the first time, I am looking forward to having a job, single apartment (pet friendly of course) with a dog close to a park, a regular corner at a local coffee shop, membership at a gym, and a church family. I am ready to be my own and not have to think about another person for a little bit. A time to find out who I am and what I want. And then... sign up for eHarmony.
No comments:
Post a Comment