Valentine's Day Is What You Make It.

So I have to say that I am guilty of being a hater. I don't like that I am 19, yet have never had a valentine to celebrate this holiday with. And it is not me being greedy. I just want someone to call mine. Someone to smile at and wish them a "Happy Valentines Day".  But I realized something today...

I don't need that, because, in a way, I already have it.

Today started just like every other day. I woke up and got ready for class, or what today would be a field trip. I check my mailbox to find a card from my best friend and a valentine from another friend. I know my best friend loves me, and means it, yet I sort of expected it. So although I appreciate it and I love her, I still have kind of a blah attitude about the rest of the day.

Everything was going smoothly until I had to get ready for work. I really didn't want to go into an elementary school to work with sugared up children. Not only that, but I knew schedules would be crazy and I just didn't want to deal with it. I wanted to have the entire day to coup myself up and forget this day was happening. I was even going to skip dinner in the cafeteria, and just get a sandwich from one of the other food places on campus. But I told my teacher that I would be there, and I was.

I walked into the room to find that my first group of students were gone at the library. My schedule was already screwed up and I didn't like it. So grumpily, I updated my Facebook status and set to get ready to see what students were available to work with. Then my teacher walked in. She gave me a box of chocolates and a pink construction paper heart with all the kids signatures on it. I wanted to cry. It was then I started to realized just how loved I was. I didn't even care that my name was spelt wrong. Also, something else new happened. My teacher and I talked. Like had a good conversation about my field trip, students, and education issues. It was thanks to this that I was reassured again that elementary school teaching was where I belong. She told me just how much she and the students appreciate me. She also reminded me that, for some of the students, I am the only non-teacher encouragement they receive. That hit me pretty hard. But then I realized just how great of an opportunity I have been given. I love my students. All of them. No matter what. And I would do anything to express my love and desire for them to succeed to them. I joined teaching for them. Not for the salary, or the benefits, or the vacation time. But for them. To see them succeed and learn.

Not only did I get candy from my teacher, but one of my students, who I did not expect anything from, gave me a holographic Scooby-Doo valentine. And I love it. I also came back to my dorm to find two fortune cookie valentines with Hershey's kisses  and "fortunes" in them.

This post doesn't come close to showing how loved I feel and how much I appreciate my life and those in it. I was reminded what real love is today. Both in practice, and in Word. The Word. One of my fortune cookies had this in it: "And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands. As you have heard from the beginning, His command is that you walk in love." (2 John 1:6) I love God, and I love how He uses things and people to show us His love as well.

So you can hate this day all you want. You can be bitter, hateful, and plain right nasty. But you can't deny the power of God's love. You can hate this day, but you shouldn't. This holiday is not about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. It is not about who gets flowers or who gets the most candy. This holiday is not out to get all the single people and make them feel worthless. This holiday is meant to show you how loved you are. It is meant for you to show others how much you love them. We can use it to show the love of God and have it shown to us. Granted, you shouldn't need an excuse to do that. But since we have it, why not take advantage of it?

Happy Valentines Day. Remember, you are beautiful. And you are loved more than you know.

I'll stand with arms high... but the question is "Why?"

When I was younger, like around 10, there was a girl in my youth group who I looked up to. She was older, and smart and pretty, and I just could tell that she was the kind of person I wanted to be when I was older. One of the things she would do was raise her hands and close her eyes as she sang in church. When i saw that, all I could think was, 'Wow. I can't wait until I am at the point in my relationship with God where I can do that and not feel embarrassed by the the people staring at me for looking so spiritual.' Well I am at that point now, and have been for some years, and I realize that raising your hands while praising God is more than what I thought it was. To me, it means that I am fully surrendered. I have nothing to give, yet I want Him to have it all and am giving it to Him. But that's hard for non-Christians and even some Christians to understand. And within the last year, I have heard two real life examples explaining what it means to be fully surrendered. One I liked, and one that really bothered me.

The first one that I enjoyed and can relate to is one that a friend of mine told me this summer. She had heard it at a Christian music festival and to me, it makes so much sense. The guy she heard it from explained it as an infant and their father or mother (for this sake, I will use father). When a baby is tired or upset, they lift their hands up, usually wailing or sniffling, for their father to pick them up and cuddle them. They need the comfort of their parent to make them feel better. They don't just sit there, get frustrated, and curse their parent for not having the intuition to know they need them, When i lift my hands in praise or prayer, it's because I am saying that I need you Father. I can't do this on my own and all I need is your gentle hand to hold me and let me know that you have it. Also, a parent knows that their child will alert them, whether it be by crying or whatnot.  A parent doesn't cradle them while they squirm and cry to get down. Same goes for me. There are times when I have the assurance that my Father is right there with me and I need not worry, but I don't need Him to hold me at those times. But God doesn't stand there about to swoop me up the minute I start to sniffle, but has His arms out ready for ME to decide when to grab on. Parents give their kids some free will, and so does my God. So when I lift my arm in praise or prayer, I am like a helpless infant crying out to my Father, who's standing with arms wide open, to pick me up, messes and blessings both, and love me regardless of my faults.

Then there was the comparison that I didn't care for. In church the other day, I heard the preacher compare raising your hands in praise to a stick up. He said that when you raise your arms, it's like you are being robbed and you are saying that you surrender entirely. Which is fine in retrospect, but that would make God the robber. And I don't know about anyone else, but that is not the God I worship. It is not a God I would want to worship. God doesn't hold a gun to our faces and say "Make a choice." He waits for us to come to Him. So although I agree that raising our hands is an act of entire surrender, but not that God is the one holding the gun.

These are just my thoughts. I was just really upset yesterday with the second comparison because of what it was implying about my Heavenly Father. If you have any comparisons that you have come up with or have heard of, let me know. I would love to hear them :)

Hello Happiness.

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." - Mark Twain



"So hold your head high gorgeous, people would kill to see you fall. In the dead of the night they can’t hear you screaming. You swear revenge, against them all." - Author Unknown


It is an interesting concept. That is the connection between anger and happiness. You can't be both. It is impossible. Because they are very opposite and strong emotions. And that is my "Ah-Ha" moment tonight. I realized I wanted both. I want to be angry at those who have hurt me. I want to hold that grudge, because for some reason I thought that if I gave up that feeling, I had lost. I have always seen forfeit as failure. And I don't want them to win. But at the same time, I have been searching for happiness. I want to be able to smile until my cheeks hurt, laugh until my mascara has been washed away completely, and to feel safe emotionally. 


But this is what I discovered tonight. That my anger hurts no one but myself and those around me trying to help me gain happiness. My anger came out as jealousy, low-self worth, and bitterness. Well no more. I have learned that to give up my anger is not to lose a battle, but to win the war. Those who hurt me, who lied to me, who laugh at my misery cringe at the thought that I am moving on. That I have forgiven them. Sure there will be others that will want to do me harm, but I have protected now. It's like my own secret service who job is to remind me to choose happiness daily. But it isn't just others who have hurt me. I have hurt myself. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. Even in the past couple days, I have doubted my worthiness and asked myself if I am really worthy of the life I had been blessed with and the people around me. 


But no more. I forgive those who have hurt me. I forgive those who are going to hurt me. And most importantly, I forgive myself. I am my biggest critic. But you see, I have more than I deserve. Recent events have shown me how lucky I am. Because I am smart. I am funny. And I am beautiful. 


So I say now," Hello Happiness. I've been searching for you."

All the Single Ladies... Oh and I guess Single Men can read too.

So I found this article/post thing while I was Stumbling and thought it was fantastic. It is titled "50 Dating Rules for Smart Girls Who Don't Need Dating Rules" and was written by a girl named Fajr.

I am keeping some of them out just for appropriateness. But I am going to attach the link for those of you who would like to read the entire thing, or share it yourself. I also am going to put my favorites in bold.

Here it is:

"Here are 50 dating rules for smart girls who could care less about dating rules!

1. Trust your instincts & always follow your heart

2. “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution .” ~Mae West

3. Being single is not the end of the world: it’s the most liberating time when you can do what you want, answer to no one and fall in love with yourself!

4. We’re independent, pay our own bills, change our tires and still want to be held; vulnerability makes you strong

5. Liking a guy is no excuse to act bat crap ( but not crap) crazy… be cool gal!

6. Dating is meant to be fun; not a spectator sport

7. Love is only as complicated as we make it

8. Everything you need to know about him, will reveal itself

9. Girls just wanna have fun is more than a song; it’s a way of life

10. Your Prince Charming does exist; but you don’t have to be Sleeping Beauty waiting for him to rescue you.

11. Respect is the minimum, disrespect is where to draw the line

12. Femininity is our gift; use it wisely

13. Sex and the City is a work of fiction, not a guide for life (learned this the hard way) (not me, her)

14. Don’t play hard to get, Be hard to get (definitely one of my favorites!)

15. A breakup does not equal breakdown. Can I get an AMEN?!

16. Playing small doesn’t pay: Let. Your. Light. Shine. Girl!

17. Match.com doesn’t make you pathetic but sitting home waiting for the one will make you bitter

18. Confidence is Sexy; Independence is even sexier

19. Maybe you’re just not that into HIM

20. Having a date doesn’t Vali-Date you

21. Being a size 0 won’t make him like you and if it does… he’s a jerk (but not jerk)!


22. A woman will have multiple great loves in her life and each one should make her a better woman

23. No man is perfect and neither are you! Get over yourself!


24. “A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.”~ Cher

25. Paying for dinner and opening doors aren’t reserved for men, they’re reserved for people with manners

26. Don’t make your single girlfriends out to be catty, jealous haters

27. Relationships are hard work; know this and fall in love anyway

28. Speaking your  mind won’t scare off the right guy, it will make him fall more

29. If you treat a first date like an interview, it will feel like one

30. You can only control one thing in a relationship: yourself

31. Be who you really are via @loveandtrash

32. Having a career, hobbies and a life are all prerequisites

33. There’s so much excitement in getting to know someone… take your time

34. A smile is the best introduction

35. Live and learn and be thankful you didn’t get Luvs

36. Men who write dating books for women have a special place in hell— Steve Harvey! (This one made me laugh.)

37. Don’t settle for less than butterflies— but you already knew that! 

38. If he doesn’t support your shoe habit, it’s not true love! (Made me laugh also.)

39. Being the best you will ultimately attract the best partner for you

40. Being picky isn’t a crime, being nitpicky is.

41. “Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them” - Sex and the City (Not a fan of the show, but love this!)

42. Dating your self is great practice and teaches others how to love you (good one @StylisticTaste)

43. The antidote to desperation is self-confidence.

44. At the end of the day, be honest about how you feel and walk away. If he’s the one he’ll run to catch you "

There they are! I took out six of them for personal reasons and such. But I think a lot of these are smart. And some are obvious, but it's nice to get a good reminder every once in a while. :)

So to all my fellow single ladies out there, keep your chins up. The right guy is out there, but that doesn't mean we need to play the damsel in distress. <3

50 Dating Rules for Smart Girls Who Don't Need Dating Rules - The Real Article